Dear 51 Mugs
I’m sure when a lot of you logged into Paypal all those months ago and donated your 50 pence or whatever it was to my Kickstarter campaign you were expecting to get a comedy special not to have your donations embezzled and receive countless emails calling you a mug. Well, when I reached my target and completed my KS campaign I thought that I’d finally cultivated the right audience who got my sense of humour not some penny pinching Jack Whitehall fans who wouldn’t know what real art was if the Mona Lisa dismounted from the wall of the Louvre and started sucking them off
I can’t believe I am having to write this... but have you ever thought... that maybe… just maybe... being embezzled and being labelled a mug then receiving countless abusive emails and tweets IS the stand up special? I’ll leave that with you to mull over.
I can’t believe I am having to write this... but have you ever thought... that maybe… just maybe... being embezzled and being labelled a mug then receiving countless abusive emails and tweets IS the stand up special? I’ll leave that with you to mull over.
I’m emailing you because recently I’ve begun to have some very strange feelings when I think about the special. I feel like I accidentally tripped and fell in a hole in the ground, I dust myself off and then I look up to the sky and I see you guys standing over the hole with spades. The first spade full of dirt hits my face. At first it’s a feeling of surprise but as the shovels full of dirt rain down on me there is a heavy oppressive feeling, like all the negative emotions inside me are pushing against my organs. It's like a ton of dirt has been shovelled on top of me by a disgruntled crowd of backers and is crushing me to death. I did some research and apparently what I’ve been experiencing is guilt.
This absolutely cannot be the case, I’ve got nothing to feel guilty about. It’s pity! I feel sorry for how pathetic you all are. The way you all cried and moaned when I didn’t release my special was embarrassing and the more I think about it the more I realise how sad YOU are. That’s why you needed entertaining in the first place. You are endlessly searching for something to fill a hole of existential nothingness bored deep into your soul, you thought it would be my special but let me tell you I could release 100 specials and you’d still feel empty inside unless you start to address all the actions and behaviours that are ruining your life. All the anger and hatred directed at me was self hatred towards yourself, I understand that now.
Not one to deprive seriously ill people of their medicine I have decided as a compromise to edit a little trailer. Hopefully this e-mail and trailer will be the catalyst that instigates the changes in your life you need to make in order to heal. I look forward to receiving your thanks and maybe some more money too. Feel free to share the trailer and help others like you.