THIS INTERVIEW WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON SPOONFED BY EMMA MCALPINE IN 2012 ON THE EVE OF MY DEBUT EDINBURGH FRINGE SHOW WRONG WAY.
Did you always know you wanted a career in comedy?
No - I left school when I was 17 to pursue a career as a chef. There are a lot of similarities with cooking and comedy. You need to write a recipe for a good dish as you do with comedy, behind every good joke is a recipe. For food to taste nice, it needs seasoning with salt and pepper, for comedy you need to season it with charisma. Delivery is very important in the restaurant trade, if no one takes the food out to the customer then it’s just going to sit in the kitchen and all the work you’ve put into it is going to be completely pointless. If you don’t deliver comedy material right, you would just be standing on stage in silence. Saying that I’ve delivered material plenty of times to silence. Anyway you get my point.
I also went through a phase of working in retail for some classic high street retailers. The thing I am most proud about during my time as a retail slave is my 100% sacking record, I’ve never had a job that I haven’t been fired from. I’m self-employed these days and to be honest I’m such a nightmare that I often think about firing myself. For concerned readers, firing myself is not a metaphor for suicide.
What prompted you to set up your own comedy magazine - The Fix?
I was a comedy filmmaker struggling to find an audience or get any meetings with TV people. Well I’d had one meeting with Channel Four which came from the first thing I'd ever sent out. A film about me being a minicab driver. I remember it well. I went to Channel Four, 22 years old, wet behind the ears and pretty full of myself. Sat down with the then head of comedy who had also produced Spaced. He said: “I really liked your short film, have you got any other ideas?”
To which I simply replied “no.” Then there was what felt like a minute’s awkward silence after which I said: “How much money do you get per episode for a TV show?” “About £160,000”
Another minute of awkward silence followed, after which I said “Did you produce Spaced?” “Yup” “Not a big fan but it’s very popular isn’t it?” And that was about it. I went on to produce more stuff but never got a TV meeting with any of it.
I digress...I was struggling to get any recognition so I was thinking of ways to raise my profile so when I sent my stuff in, it didn’t just end up on a big pile of Big Brother audition tapes. At the same time I did a bit of stand up and was seeing lots of decent acts who weren’t getting any TV exposure. It felt like there was a massive gap between what was going on on the circuit and what the public/so called industry knew about it. I felt by setting up the magazine, it could be a platform for acts to showcase writing skills and build a fan base through the readership. The same for me. It worked for a lot of acts but did virtually nothing for my career as a writer/performer. I did however learn how to lose a lot of money, alienate my family and defend myself unsuccessfully in a court of law.
What happened?
I never wanted to be a magazine publisher (or for that matter a businessman) but for three and half years that’s what happened. I was doing something that really wasn’t a priority career-wise but took up all my time and resources. I was on a Crowhurstian journey, and was operating a sort of a ponzi scheme where each new issue paid off the debt from the last issue but in turn created more debt.
I wanted to make films and be a writer for TV and Film. In order to lessen the burden of responsibility, I went into partnership with a family friend. The plan was that they would take care of the business side and I could concentrate on being “an artist.” What actually transpired was he made me sign a contract that made a family friend’s idiot son the beneficiary of the magazine and sued me when I told him that I would not let that happen. My abiding memory of said idiot son is the time it took him three days to go and pick up some photocopying. When he returned three days later I asked him what had happened. A ‘flat tyre’ apparently. Oh yeah and he hadn’t picked up the photocopying.
Would you do it all over again if you knew the legal battle awaiting you?
No. I mean there were benefits to the Fix and I remember one hour when I enjoyed it but what I should have been doing was concentrating on filmmaking and stand-up. That said, if we ever run out of fossil fuel I’ve got enough magazines left over to start a fire and keep warm for the next 50 years.
You've been working in the comedy industry for 8 years - as an editor, director and filmmaker...what made you decide to get into the performance side of it now?
I guess I’d always wanted to be a performer. Since doing stand up, I realise how frustrating it must of been for me to see everyone else doing it. The impetus for me to start was that I was seeing so many average acts who were having careers and I thought at the very least I could be an average act, so what’s the point in not doing it? Secondly it seems like a good thing to do from a writing perspective, I still want to be a full time writer and stand up will hopefully open some of those doors to paid work. These last two answers have taken a turn for the serious, I better think of some jokes about this stuff in case I ever get asked to write an autobiography.
What have you learned about comedy as a promoter and how have you applied it to your act?
I begrudgingly learned a lot about the business side of things through being a promoter which is helpful. I’ve watched hours and hours of comedy on the London stand up circuit which to a degree was very helpful, but it’s just the theory which, although stands you in good stead, does not prepare you for doing it. Watching comedy and doing comedy are two very different things.
Have you had any good advice from fellow comics?
What have you learned about comedy as a promoter and how have you applied it to your act?
I begrudgingly learned a lot about the business side of things through being a promoter which is helpful. I’ve watched hours and hours of comedy on the London stand up circuit which to a degree was very helpful, but it’s just the theory which, although stands you in good stead, does not prepare you for doing it. Watching comedy and doing comedy are two very different things.
Have you had any good advice from fellow comics?
The best advice I’ve had was from Rich Fulcher who told me to stop apologising if a bit doesn’t go down well. It’s a really hard habit to get out of especially if “it not going well” accounts for 90% of your set. So with his advice I’ve managed to get to a set that is 90% “not going well” and 10% not acknowledging how “not going well” it is going.
What’s your show about?
What’s your show about?
Good question (delivered in a sarcastic tone to illustrate I don’t know). My show is a showcase show where I demonstrate all my talents as a comedian. Observational, physical, musical, prop and satire. When flyering I am describing the narrative as “reverse engineered” by which I mean I show you how it is done, like a magician who reveals his tricks or one of those watches where you see the mechanism. It pokes fun at the Edinburgh show format whilst at the same time telling a story. I hope your eyes haven't glazed over like those of the people I’ve been telling this to in the Pleasance Courtyard.
You've been to the Fringe a fair few times. Tell me about your best and worst experiences to date.
I think my best experiences were two years ago when I directed Rich Fulcher’s Tiny Acts of Rebellion show. The guy, is in my opinion, one of the greats and it felt like an honor not a job to work with him. I learnt so much about comedy through that. Also the same year I directed John Kearn’s Dinner Party which featured John Kearns and Pat Cahill - two of the most exciting talents to emerge from the London comedy circuit in years.
Another golden memory was last year, I only managed to make it up for a couple of days. I had been quite vocal in my disapproval of the BBC venue (still am). I managed to procure two tickets for the live TV recording that was being broadcast all night on BBC3. Under the guise of Beards For Justice, I managed to storm the stage with Bob Slayer and do a protest on behalf of the spirit of the fringe. The idea was to make it as lame as possible, as you can see in the video that we got someone to secretly film, we succeeded. The two best things about this were that we uploaded the video to Youtube and it got more views than all the individual clips the BBC uploaded from the show put together. Secondly, I was kicked up the arse by a BBC producer, whose face as he ran on stage was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen at the Fringe.
Hands down the worst experience at the Fringe was the first time I came to the Edinburgh Festival as a comedy DVD seller in 2000. Having written, directed, and produced my own sketch show, I decided to pack a suitcase full of them and head up to Edinburgh, where I assumed they would sell like hotcakes and I would get my own TV show. I stole some money from my mum’s credit card in the hope that I would pay her back with the profits from sales. I booked enough accommodation for two days - the sales would pay for the rest of the week.
Things went well on day one. I sold two copies for £30. The next day I only sold one, and it was slowly dawning on me that this would not be as easy as first expected. By afternoon on the third day, my will was completely broken and I was beginning to feel like a comedy Atlas, made to walk the cobbled streets and hills of Edinburgh with a suitcase full of dreams on my back, punished by Zeus for my naive optimism and faith in my own ability. I had now completely run out of money, and for the next two evenings I was forced to sleep on the streets. The next morning, I tried to escape Edinburgh on a train back to London with a ticket that wasn't valid until the end of the week. I was evicted from the train at Berwick upon-Tweed, where I slept under a bridge for another night. When I eventually arrived back in London there was a letter from Channel Four waiting for me which at the time felt like salvation, but as we read earlier in the interview, turned out to be further punishment.
You've been to the Fringe a fair few times. Tell me about your best and worst experiences to date.
I think my best experiences were two years ago when I directed Rich Fulcher’s Tiny Acts of Rebellion show. The guy, is in my opinion, one of the greats and it felt like an honor not a job to work with him. I learnt so much about comedy through that. Also the same year I directed John Kearn’s Dinner Party which featured John Kearns and Pat Cahill - two of the most exciting talents to emerge from the London comedy circuit in years.
Another golden memory was last year, I only managed to make it up for a couple of days. I had been quite vocal in my disapproval of the BBC venue (still am). I managed to procure two tickets for the live TV recording that was being broadcast all night on BBC3. Under the guise of Beards For Justice, I managed to storm the stage with Bob Slayer and do a protest on behalf of the spirit of the fringe. The idea was to make it as lame as possible, as you can see in the video that we got someone to secretly film, we succeeded. The two best things about this were that we uploaded the video to Youtube and it got more views than all the individual clips the BBC uploaded from the show put together. Secondly, I was kicked up the arse by a BBC producer, whose face as he ran on stage was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen at the Fringe.
Hands down the worst experience at the Fringe was the first time I came to the Edinburgh Festival as a comedy DVD seller in 2000. Having written, directed, and produced my own sketch show, I decided to pack a suitcase full of them and head up to Edinburgh, where I assumed they would sell like hotcakes and I would get my own TV show. I stole some money from my mum’s credit card in the hope that I would pay her back with the profits from sales. I booked enough accommodation for two days - the sales would pay for the rest of the week.
Things went well on day one. I sold two copies for £30. The next day I only sold one, and it was slowly dawning on me that this would not be as easy as first expected. By afternoon on the third day, my will was completely broken and I was beginning to feel like a comedy Atlas, made to walk the cobbled streets and hills of Edinburgh with a suitcase full of dreams on my back, punished by Zeus for my naive optimism and faith in my own ability. I had now completely run out of money, and for the next two evenings I was forced to sleep on the streets. The next morning, I tried to escape Edinburgh on a train back to London with a ticket that wasn't valid until the end of the week. I was evicted from the train at Berwick upon-Tweed, where I slept under a bridge for another night. When I eventually arrived back in London there was a letter from Channel Four waiting for me which at the time felt like salvation, but as we read earlier in the interview, turned out to be further punishment.
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